Mixed feelings

Running this morning gave me time to reflect on what was said in announcement of lockdown last night. Mixed feelings, resentment, anger, frustration, relief. Anger at government, anger at the virus, relief that something's being done and people are safer. Its here now, we knew it was coming and we're not going anywhere! Wierd feelings, wierd times. Trying to unpick them and make sense of everything going on was pretty hard! It made me think about acceptance, not accepting that all is ok, I'm not that naive, but acceptance that I'm going to have these feelings, going to be hard one minute then ok the next, acceptance that I'm not ok with it all. I ran and ran and just ended up 'sitting' (not literally but just 'being') with the feelings, not trying to get rid of them or work it out any more. Just accepting that at times I'll be frustrated, at times I'll be ok, even happy to be playing games and not stressing to get kids to school bus on time!! That at times I'll want to scream, and have a drink and say 'sod' this. But thats ok, we can get frustrated and annoyed at situation, at the same time as have fun st times. Accepting life is going to be up and down for the foreseeable future. Take care all.